Mamatography – August 2012 Week 2

This post is part of Mamatography 2012, a project hosted by Diary of a First Child. The goal is to document the entire year of 2012 in photos. Paired with my participation in fellow Coast Guard Wife Courtney Kirkland‘s photography tutorials and projects, I am definitely learning more about my camera, my photos, & my kids, and I’ll have plenty of great photos to document 2012. Please visit the links at the bottom of my post to see other Mamatography posts! And if you are participating in Mamatography, click on over to the BLOG HOP going on at Diary of a First Child and join in!

           This past Monday, we enjoyed some time at the beach after my Co-Ombudsman and I facilitated the TAHOMA Morale Picnic at a local state park. Joseph and Abbey really enjoyed exploring the beach – Joseph and I played together, throwing rocks in the water and watching and listening to them *PLOP* and Abbey and daddy went on an exploration of the rocks and boulders.

We also spent plenty of time at our regular park beside our housing unit.

But. . . back to the BEACH: I can’t believe we spent as long there as we did, especially after a long day at the TAHOMA Picnic. I was exhausted after helping the Morale officer run the event, so to have relaxing time at the beach was so refreshing!

We ALL had a great time, including Raven! She was SO happy!

This week otherwise was pretty eventless – just a normal week in the Willa house! I made my “Veggieful” Spaghetti Sauce again for dinner and it was a HIT (as always). It’s amazing what FRESH ingredients can do for a meal! I love the picture I snapped of Joe after stuffing his face with Veggieful spaghetti. He is getting so big and his mannerisms are so wonderfully hilarious!

I spent most of my non-mothering (erm. . . nap and bed times) sewing.

I finished Abbey’s blackout curtains and documented my process and pattern for a tutorial. I was very pleased with how her curtains turned out! Picture next week!

I also sewed up an embroidered fairy diaper for a neighbor’s little girl. I’m making my final adjustments for a NEW Silly Bear Handmade pocket diaper – and the testers will be open for purchase via my Etsy shop at the end of the month. The new pocket diapers feature a front and back flap opening so that the soaker insert will agitate out in the wash (no need to pull out icky inserts pre-wash!) They will be available in sized (NB-XL) increments and OS (one-size) variations, and the soakers are super absorbent and quick dry. 

I love my AIO (all-in-one) diapers with a sewn in soaker for the convenience of not having to stuff inserts, but these pockets dry so much faster and absorb so well. My beautiful diaper model London went 6 hours in this fairy embroidered pocket diaper and pooped in it without wicking or leaks. I was so happy when her mom reported an excellent review (with a couple suggestions to help the pattern fit chunky babes more comfortably). 

 

 

That was our week. . . . how was YOURS?

Are you up for a challenge? One that will take something from you every day, but give a whole lot back too? How about joining me for the photography challenge in 2012 then? A photo a day of whatever your day involved. You can jump in any time through the year! If you’d still like to join us, you can start at any time, just sign up here and our host will email you further information.

Without further ado, here is the current list of all participants for Mamatography 2012 so far!

 

Lemons.

Meditating on the dramatic and emotional things that have been happening around here lately makes me think of a lesson my father taught me when I was young – “Be careful – don’t let anyone talk you into buying a lemon” . . . he’s speaking, of course, about the informal definition of a “lemon”:

a person or thing that proves to be defective,imperfect, or unsatisfactory; dud: 
His car turned out to be lemon.

Photo Credit

Soured Friendships

Unfortunately, recently, I have found myself in a position where some of the relationships that I have forged and held dear here in Maine turned out to be “lemons”. Defective relationships. . . definitely imperfect. . . and extremely unsatisfactory in that they’ve caused me pain and heartache in the forms of disrespect, antagonism, betrayal, and just plain pettiness.

I’ve been struggling with the feelings that these “dud” relationships have stirred up in me. . . anger, sorrow, helplessness, confusion. . . 

I find myself wondering why, at not even 25 years old, I’m acting like more of an adult than people years and even decades older than I am. I mean, really. I feel like I’m in the movie Mean Girls. I’m wondering how I could have been so blind to the fact that the relationships were doomed to begin with. . . and I’m torn about what to do with these feelings.

I’m wondering why it’s so hard to just let go of them. Be done with them. I think it’s partially because in a military lifestyle, I leave behind dear friends, and need to make new ones at our next assignment. Because I feel the need to belong to or create a community, maybe I can be a bit careless about the people that I choose to forge friendships with. Not that I choose bad friends. These friends that I’ve recently been completely and totally betrayed by were great friends and lovely people until nasty words were spread, healthy criticisms were made, and it all went to hell. 
It’s like. . . I want so badly to have the loyalty, understanding, and love that I’ve shared between friends before. . . and that’s hard to come by when everyone you live near (including yourself) is called away by duty to another military station . . . whenever their family’s transfer time comes around. You want to make friends and have connections. But I’ve been learning (the hard way) that maybe I need to listen more to my husband about which people to trust. Apparently, he’s got a pretty keen “bullshit meter” (sorry. . . ONE curse, JUST one!). Again, that’s a story for another post. Right now, I’m left wondering what to do with the feelings of betrayal and sadness, and how to move on.

Where Do I Go From Here?

So, the story of the betrayal is a post for another time, once I have had a bit of time to gain hindsight. Right now, if I wrote about it, I would be sobbing and shaking by the end of writing the post, and my post would be splattered with expletives for sure. And I don’t want either of those two things to happen.
But I find myself at an impasse.

I want to let these feelings go and take the “high road” and just continue living normally. But then I’m afraid that if I release the bad feelings and continue on like nothing ever happened, that I’ll be blind sighted by another betrayal that I might have seen coming, had I been watching out for it. 

Photo Credit 
I took a good run today and purged all of the ugliest feelings (you know, like when you want to shake someone because you are just that angry!) and have a good think about the rest of them. . . and I’ve decided that I’m going to move forward from these ugly feelings. 

It’s going to be work, keeping myself from falling into the trap of being ugly right back. . . or buying into the drama. But I’m not going to let the unfortunate happenings of the past couple of weeks poison my life or knock me off course. 

I’ve got a lot to be thankful for:
  • My little Silly Bears who are my pride and joy
  •  My goals and passions: Learning, mothering, studying, sewing, etc.
  • My volunteer work helping families through my Coast Guard Ombudsman role 
  • My education and IBCLC certification through my college courses (no matter how hard it is to be a student AND a mom!). . . 
  • The fulfillment that I feel as I pursue my Silly Bear Handmade shop
  • and most importantly, continuing to find JOY in mothering and in this crazy, wonderful journey I’m on.

I want to fix everything, or undo everything, but I know that that’s impossible. 

The best I can do is be sure about my values, and release the nasty emotions that are causing me stress.  

I need my water to be clear so that I can go on doing what I do. . . mothering, studying, writing, helping, and creating. . . and loving those friends and family who are true and dear.

and maybe, just maybe, I can get a little better at spotting “lemons” in my life before they create trouble.

Any suggestions on meditations that help with releasing feelings and moving on from betrayal?

How do you cope with “lemons” in your life?

Mamatography Week 17

This post is part of Mamatography 2012, a project hosted by Diary of a First Child. The goal is to document the entire year of 2012 in photos. Paired with my participation in fellow Coast Guard Wife Courtney Kirkland‘s 52 Faces project and her Move to Manual series, I am definitely learning more about my camera, my photos, & my kids, and I’ll have plenty of great photos to document 2012. 
Please visit the links at the bottom of my post to see other Mamatography posts!
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 Mommy attended a training last week for my volunteer work as Command Ombudsman for my Hubs’ Coast Guard Cutter. It was a 9-3 training Monday through Wed, and Abbey got to experience a full day at the Child Development center while Joseph stayed at home with daddy. It was a different (and actually surprisingly wonderful) dynamic. Hubs’ mentioned to me that he liked the feeling of bonding more with Joe, and he could tell that I benefitted from doing something other than mothering/cleaning/household managing.

We’ve decided to make it a priority that daddy takes responsibility for the kids more often while I work on my new business, or do Ombudsman volunteer activities, or simply just have a mommy day. We just have to make sure that we WATCH Abbey carefully when we allow her to help with the motorcycle cleaning, daddy! (She cut herself on a tool this week, and came to us with a bleeding thumb, saying, “I touched the danger thing, and it hurt me!”)

Joe seems pretty chill with the idea of more daddy time. 
Here he is, relaxing after a trip to the park with daddy :)

 But back to the daily grind. . . kiddos at the park (and one with an awful scrape on his face!)

Now that Joe can walk well, he’s into everything!!!!

He’s also discovering the joy of playing with Raven
. . . and resisting naps a bit, which makes him a little drowsy when he wakes up from them. . . *YAWN*

 My Silly Bears in my Ombudsman stuff. . . *sigh* . . . it was all organized. . . the life of a multi-tasking mama! :) They made up for getting into my papers by being absolutely adorable the first time that Joseph used his new booster seat for dinner. He was so excited to be at the family table! (we repurposed his weaning table for a reading table in his room).

And that was our week. How was YOURS?

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Are you up for a challenge? One that will take something from you every day, but give a whole lot back too? How about joining me for the photography challenge in 2012 then? A photo a day of whatever your day involved. You can jump in any time through the year!

If you’d still like to join us, you can start at any time, just sign up here and our host will email you further information.
Without further ado, here is the current list of all participants for Mamatography 2012 so far!

52 Faces Week 5

I’m looking forward to having 52 faces from each of my silly bears to watch their growth through 2012!
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Joseph has been teething a LOT this week, so his best face was asleep on my chest. 
I caught it with my iPhone. 
 Abbey and I have both been really busy this week, with diaper sewing, Valentines Day crafts, hosting playgroups, and my Ombudsman training, so I have to admit, I didn’t even THINK of doing a photo shoot. So here’s her best “portrait” for the week!