Breastfeeding Support Blog Party!

Feeding JoeLast Thursday, bloggers from around the world came together in a show of support for breastfeeding mothers. New mothers have enough challenges without having to feel guilty for how they feed their baby, especially when they are choosing the most natural of means – breastfeeding.

Over the last few days there has been a lot of heated debates, controversial posts, and social media outcry against the position that the Weston A. Price Foundation takes on breastfeeding. While they do present sound information on the ideal diet for a human adult, they do so in a manner that brings about guilt, fear, and confusion for mothers.

The bloggers who participated in the Breastfeeding Support Blog Party are not trying to create a divide between mothers. We simply want to offer support, in the form of blog posts, as to why breastfeeding should always be the first choice both for baby and mama.

We hope you take some time to read the posts that were written as part of the Blog Party. There are also over 140 posts linked up as part of this. Take some time to check them out here or link up your own breastfeeding support post!

Dionna at Code Name: Mama has come up with 40 ways that family, friends, coworkers and employers can support mothers who pump breastmilk, along with a ton of resources for you and the pumping mom in your life. There are also some fun graphics you can print and pass out, with 70% of all proceeds going to buy pumps for moms in domestic violence shelters!

Destany at They Are All of Me writes about ten common breastfeeding myths that scare women out of breastfeeding.

Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama discusses how her diet wasn’t WAPF perfect, but she still breastfed a perfectly healthy baby.

Christine at African Babies Don’t Cry is passionate about breastfeeding, here are her 101 reasons why!

Kelly at Becoming Crunchy discusses the question of whether you should still nurse – even if your diet isn’t ‘right’.

Jorje of Momma Jorje has enough pressure in her life, she is glad she doesn’t have to worry about what, when and how much food she feeds her son since he is also still nursing.

Angela at EarthMamas World discusses a few of the most common problems that a mama may encounter while breastfeeding. Angela also shares natural remedies for each of these breastfeeding problems!

That Mama Gretchen reflects on the beautiful bond breastfeeding has created as her two children have transitioned from their womb experience to their earth side one.

Julia at A Little Bit of All of It shares ways breastfeeding and breastmilk are unique and special in a way only they can be.

Amy W. at Natural Parents Network shares 5 scientific reasons that mother’s milk is an unequaled form of nutrition and nurture: so awesome, and so unique!

Laura at Authentic Parenting shares solid information on iron intake for the breastfed baby.

Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares the questions (and answers) about breastfeeding she wished she had a friend to answer for her before becoming a mama.

Abbie at Farmer’s Daughter choose to breastfeed her children in part because it’s easier than bottle feeding, not to mention that it is the best nutrition for babies, that it has health benefits for both mother and child, that it encourages bonding, and of course that it’s free! Basically breastmilk is the ultimate convenience food.

KerryAnn at Cooking Traditional Foods shares how the rush to recommend raw milk formula actually harms mothers.

Starlene at GAPS Diet Journey shares her experience with nursing and why she feels it is an important piece of the your baby’s health.

At Living Peacefully with Children, Mandy draws a connection between how formula companies market and how women are treated by society.

Amy at Anktangle outlines a few of the many ways breastfeeding benefits both mom and child—aside from providing excellent nutrition.

Adrienne at Whole New Mom shares Part One and Part Two of 100 Reasons Why Breast Is Best.

Dawn at Cultured Mama shares her personal breastfeeding journey and how she overcame low supply issues and successfully tandemed nursed with only one breast.

Mothering in the Newborn Period: NPN Post

Breastfeeding

This weekend, I was published at Natural Parents Network, as a part of my authorship with the site. My article, Mothering in the Newborn Period, is a short list of reminders for the mom of a 0-3 month old to smooth over the transition of having a new little one, and it applies to all moms. Check it out!

Visit Natural Parents Network

I LOVE Natural Parents Network as a comprehensive, supportive place for current, honest, and authentic natural parenting advice and discussion.

If you haven’t checked out Natural Parents Network yet, please do! All moms, dads and other caregivers will be able to find something browsing through the site that will strike up interest and enhance a caregiving role.

I hope you and yours have had a WONDERFUL weekend!

10 Reasons to Breastfeed (funny and true!)

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Joseph, sleeping at the breast

I have been writing some heavy and deep breastfeeding posts lately, and I thought I’d shake it up a bit and post a funny (but true) one!

Scary Mommy has a list of “10 (shallow) Reasons to Breastfeed” and I love giggling through the list. Thanks, Courtney, for reminding me of this list. It’s a hoot!

I think #7 is my personal favorite. Comes in handy every day!

We were just talking at La Leche League the other day about how helpful and lovely it is for a baby/toddler/child to home HOME to mommy’s breast for comfort.

Doesn’t matter what the frustration is, HOME at mommy’s breast always satisfies and comforts!

Take a look and tell me what YOUR favorite “shallow” reason for breastfeeding is!

Why I Advocate for Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding hasn’t always been easy for me, but I’m so glad that I persevered and made breastfeeding work for me.

Because in being a breastfeeding mother and a student of lactation and advocacy, I have come to learn through fact and experiences that breastfeeding is amazing for families – not just nutritionally, but for nurture, learning, and connection.

Watch me lift my 16 month old youngest Silly Bear to my breast on demand, though, and you’d probably think, as others have commented,

“Wow, that seems so easy for you – he latches right on! I wish it were that easy when I tried!”

It Hasn’t Always Been Easy

I’ve been nursing for nearly four years now, and though it seems that nursing comes easy to me, believe me, I’ve seen my share of challenges. From getting Abbey back to the breast during a NICU stay when she was newly born, to judgement from a superior about breast exposure in my role as a WIC Breastfeeding Peer Counselor, to a demanding, difficult nursing dynamic from my older child when I was pregnant with our second Silly Bear, and everywhere in-between.

I’ve been told that I was starving my child by an ignorant M.D. I’ve been told that I was disgusting for nursing my babies past infancy. I’ve been told that I’ll spoil my babies by nursing them on demand. I’ve even been chastised for feeding my children at the breast in public (I have also been commended for this). But I know via fact and experience that this negativity is pure ignorance, and I wouldn’t ever change my decision to bless my children’s tummies, hearts, and little lives with my milk and my comfort. Despite the challenges I have faced, the decision to be dedicated to nursing my children is one that I am incredibly proud of.

Feeding Tummies, Hearts, and Minds

Holding my children at my breast feeds them with more than just ideal nutrition – it feeds their hearts to know love and comfort, and it feeds their minds to understand respect, compassion, and boundaries, too.

A breastfeeding relationship is more than a feeding implement. It’s a beautiful, challenging, and dynamic learning experience for mother and child, designed to nourish, teach, and nurture both mother and child.

  •  This is why I advocate for feeding children at the breast – because breastfeeding is important. It’s more than just awesome nutrition – it’s a formative experience for mother, child, and family – giving protection from illnesses, a soft place to run for comfort, and an education to love, patience, and nurture.

 

  • This is why I breastfeed my children, and why I am not ashamed or embarrassed to do so. This is why I tell my friends about the enormous benefits to nursing. This is why I offer my help to anyone I meet with a little nursling or a baby on the way.

 

Because I would like to see every mother, child, and family blessed by the wonder that is nutrition, nourishment, and nurture at the breast. Against any and all societal ignorance, in the face of misinformation and greed, and through struggles and adverse conditions: I want to see every mother, child, and family blessed by the beauty that is breastfeeding. 

Whatever I can do to make that dream closer to a reality, I will do for moms and their families. I’m blessed to have had experience working and learning as a Breastfeeding Peer Counselor in Texas, excited to be studying and working toward volunteer breastfeeding support here in Maine, and looking forward to continuing my studies to qualify for the IBCLC Exam and turn helping families embrace and succeed at breastfeeding into a career.

 

 

What is your reaction to the knowledge that breastfeeding is more than just nutrition?

 

Have you experienced the power of breastfeeding in your family?

Sewing Tutorial: DIY Blackout Curtains

Blackout curtains are great for keeping kids rooms (or any rooms) dark and cool. Our family benefits from more sleep in the mornings and good, long naps, thanks to blackout-lined curtains. In this tutorial, you’ll learn how to sew your own blackout lined curtains. The fabric choices are endless, and the process is fairly simple. With a few common materials, and an hour or two of your time, you can have beautiful DIY blackout curtains to be very proud of!

Materials:

• rotary cutter and mat or fabric shears

• 1 & 2/3 yards of curtain fabric of your choice

• 1 & 1/2 yards of blackout curtain liner.

• coordinating polyester thread

• iron and flat, heat-tolerable surface for pressing

• large flat area for cutting and preparing panels

• sewing machine

• sewing needle for hand stitching

 

Prepare Fabric:

1. Cut curtain fabric in a 44″X 60″ rectangle with your rotary cutter or fabric shears

2. Cut your blackout lining to 42″ X 54″.

3. Prepare your fabrics by pressing fabric to flatten any wrinkles and creases.

 

Sew Side Seams

Lay printed fabric right side up on a large, flat surface. Place the Blackout liner fabric laminated side up on top of the printed fabric (the right side of the print and right [woven] side of the Blackout liner should be facing one another). Place the fabric so that there is an even amount (approx. 3″) of print fabric on the top and bottom under the liner fabric [See Picture].

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If you are sewing curtain panels to be used directly on a rod, you will have 8-9 inches at the top.

Bring the right edge of the liner fabric to meet the right edge of the cotton fabric, smooth, and pin in place from the under-side

(the heads of the pins should be on the wrong side of the printed fabric)

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1. Bring the left edge of the liner fabric to meet the left edge of the printed fabric. Because the liner fabric is shorter in width than the printed fabric, you will have an extra 3-4 inches of printed fabric. Do not attempt to smooth this out and trim the printed fabric 1

2. Place your prepared fabric under the sewing machine foot with the print side up

(heads of the pins will be facing up, for you to pull out with your right hand as you sew)

Sew a straight stitch leaving a 1″ seam allowance. Do the same for the right and left sides. Make sure that you trim your threads and go back to your work surface.

Check to see that your seam allowances are 1″. Trim if needed.

Turn your work right side in. Lay the tube of fabric that you just sewed on your work surface with the print side down and the liner fabric centered between the overlap of the print fabric. the fabric overlap should be approx. 1 inch.

3.  Make sure that your seam allowances of both the fabrics are folded outward within the “channels” created by the overlapped print fabric. This will ensure that your curtains black out light from edge to edge.

Check to see that your print fabric overlap is even throughout the length of the curtain panel, and that the seam allowances fit within the “channels” or “casing” created by the overlap, and then press this side seam in place and pin it in place to prepare to topstitch.

4. Bring your pressed and pinned fabric to the sewing machine and topstitch, sewing a straight stitch “in the ditch” between the print overlap and the liner fabric.

Make sure that you straighten the fabric to your left as you sew, and sew carefully as to not lose control of the large amount of fabric.

It’s a long seam, but you can do it! I like to use a Blind Hem Foot and minimum stitch width setting to guide the stitch into “the ditch” as I sew.

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5. Bring your work back to your large flat workspace and press these topstitched seams in place and iron out any wrinkles that have been created.

You want your fabric nice and crisp to make sure that your seams are square and that you don’t end up with funky wrinkles and unintended pleats in any part of your curtain panel! 2

Sew Top and Bottom seams

Top Seam:

{NOTE: If you want to hang your curtains directly on a rod, please add 5-6 inches to your initial measurement for the print fabric, and sew a rod casing for this step}

The following directions will create a straight, closed, and mitered seam with no rod casing that can be hung on ring clips as pictured.

1. Confirm that you have done all of the steps including pressing your finished seams for the side seams. check that your selvedge edges (raw edges) are reasonably straight, and approximately 3″ in length.

2. Measure 1.5″ up the seam allowance on the top on the left and right sides, and mark. Your mark should be approximately halfway up the selvedge edged seam allowance. Now at the very top of the top selvedge edge, measure from the right edge of your piece inward 1.5″ and mark. (A) Connect the marks and snip off the corner of the selvedge. Do the same for the left side. [See Fig. 4A]

3. (B) Snip off the triangle piece of overlap, too. [See Fig. 4B]

4. Fold down seam allowance approximately 1.5″ and press down. [Fig. 4C]

5. Fold corners in so that the inside edge of the triangle formed matches up with the topstitching of the side seams. Press. Do this on both sides. [Fig. 4D]

6. Fold down seam allowance approx. 1.5″ once more, and press. [Fig. 4E] Pin in place from the underside (you’ll want to sew with the right side of the curtain panel facing you).

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7. Sew this hem with a straight stitch- I like to use a double needle, but a single needle will work just fine! Sew from the topstitching on the right side seam to the topstitching on the left side seam.

Bottom Seam:

Repeat steps 2. – 6. for the bottom hem, but sew this hem with a Blind Hem Stitch and Blind Hem Foot. Alternatively, you can use a straight stitch for this hem.

Press all your seams and hems.

Confirm that your curtain panel is the right size and shape before you do the next step.

Finishing Up:

You’ll be hand sewing the mitered edges of the top and bottom seams. Pick a hand sewing needle that is appropriate for the materials you have used in your curtain panel. Hand sew the mitered edges on all four corners of the curtain panel, making sure to secure your thread at the beginning and end of your stitching, and then you’re done!

Go hang up your curtain panels and admire your handiwork. You created something for your family. Doesn’t it feel great!?

Cost and Time Commitment:

Approx. length of time to make one curtain panel, uninterrupted – 1-2 hours.

Cost of materials for one 42″ X 54″ curtain panel – $20 – $30 This is a full-price estimate for using a $6.99 per yard economy blackout fabric and an average $8.00 per yard cotton woven fabric. If you have coupons or discount codes, you can get the fabric for less, as I did. I spent approximately $100 making blackout curtains for both of my children’s rooms – with coupons and sale prices from Joann.com and Fabric.com. (I also received cash back through Ebates by shopping these stores online.)

  1. PIN THE LEFT EDGE of the liner TO THE LEFT EDGE of the print, just as they are. The extra print fabric is a GOOD thing. You WANT overlap.
  2. Pressing has to be the most time consuming and boring part of sewing. But it is imperative. I promise. I wouldn’t make you do it if it weren’t important!

Nursing In Public – Normal & Necessary.

I was skeptical when I clicked over to the Stir article about a Luvs Diaper Commercial starring breastfeeding as a punchline. But when I watched it, I was overjoyed that the ad showed a realistic and positive take on breastfeeding at a restaurant (gasp) without a nursing cover.


Nursing a child is totally normal, necessary, and not at all distasteful. I nursed Abbey and still nurse Joe on demand, without a cover, wherever he needs to nurse. I have even been known to nurse Abbey in public, without a cover, as a preschooler – when she needed to be nursed.

 

Only twice have I ever had a negative experience with nursing my Silly Bears wherever they needed to be fed. But the experiences of other nursing moms like Michelle Hickman of Texas, who was harassed in a Target store for breastfeeding her infant during a shopping trip, my friend Dionna Ford, when she was asked to “turn around and face the wall” to nurse her infant daughter, or Dawn Holland, who was told “finish breastfeeding in the bathroom or leave!” at a Georgia Applebee’s restaurant.

 

Cover If You Want To

If mothers feel more comfortable nursing while wearing a cover 1 then that is their choice. If mothers feel more comfortable nursing in a separate area from others, they are empowered to make that choice for themselves. But choosing to locate oneself away from others or nurse under cover should be a personal choice due to personal reasons, not a requirement, expectation, or a personal choice made in duress because of others’ opinions about a child’s right to nurse and a mother’s right to fulfill her child’s need. “Cover if you want to” is my general take on the to cover or not to cover issue. It is a personal decision of the breastfeeding dyad 2 . . . and is ethically entitled to a lack of coercion from others.

A mother should NEVER be told to move, turn around, or cover up (much less to go to the restroom to nurse!) in order to satiate her child’s needs by nursing at her breast. Doing so is discrimination against a breastfeeding mother, and though not illegal (yet!), the behavior is rude, unethical, and ignorant. Those who make these statements either don’t know about and understand the importance and natural nature of nursing. . . or they don’t care. Either way – ignorance.

Proposed Legislation to Protect Nursing in Public

And soon, it won’t be blissful ignorance. Cities are starting to see that a woman’s right to nurse in public is a right that should be adequately protected.

The City Council of Seattle, WA announced this spring that they will be considering a Breastfeeding Discrimination Ordinance to prevent discrimination of breastfeeding mothers. This kind of legislation goes to show that breastfeeding discrimination does exist, and is a serious issue in our culture. . . and I hope that it passes, and that people are held accountable for discriminating against women on the basis of motherhood and lactation 3

What do you think about the City of Seattle’s proposed legislation to protect nursing mothers and their children from discrimination? 

Have you had any experiences with nursing that you’d like to share? Share in the comments below!

 

  1. and their children will cooperate with being covered, which neither of mine would
  2. mom and baby
  3. I feel strongly about this both because I am an advocate for breastfeeding, full-term nursing, and breastfeeding families, but also because this is part of a larger Public Health issue. Discrimination against breastfeeding moms and their children feeds a societal stigma that breastfeeding is inherently distasteful, a stigma that is absolutely incorrect and harmful to children’s health.

The Best of Babywearing!

I am proud and honored to be a volunteer with the Natural Parents Network (NPN), a community of natural-minded parents and parents-to-be where you will be informed, empowered, and inspired.

When you visit the NPN’s website you can find articles and posts about Activism, Balance, Consistent Care, Ecological Responsibility, Family Safety, Feeding With Love, Gentle Discipline, Healthy Living, Holistic Health, Natural Learning, Nurturing Touch, Parenting Philosophies, Practical Home Help, Preparing for Parenting, Responding With Sensitivity, Safe Sleep, and so much more!

Today I would like to share some bookmark-worthy posts that highlight all aspects of babywearing. These posts were featured on the personal blogs of the Natural Parents Network volunteers and are some of my favorites.

We hope you enjoy reading these posts as much as we enjoyed writing them. We are always looking for new volunteers so please, contact us if you are interested. Just a few hours per month can help other mamas in a huge way!

Benefits of Babywearing/Reasons To Babywear

Types of Carriers/ Choosing A Carrier

Babywearing Safety

Babywearing How-Tos

BabywearingToddlers/More Than One Child

Personal Babywearing Stories and/or Photos

Babywearing Series/Multiple Topics

Babywearing – Other Interesting Topics

A special thank you to Erika Hastings of the blog Mud Spice for creating and sharing her babywearing art with the world!

The Small Things

This week, I had the privilege of visiting with a dear friend and mama to seven beautiful children and meeting her newest baby, Judah. I only brought Joseph with me for the visit, knowing that the family had only recently moved into their new rental house and that they don’t have as much room as they used to to play outside. So, Abbey safely and happily at preschool, Joseph and I drove the 52 minutes to Sanford, ME with our bag full of hand-me-down boy clothes, and I got to see my friend and her lovely kids.

And I got to hold that sweet little newborn baby.

As I spoke to him, and held his little body in my hands, my friend snapped some pictures of us together, and I thought:

How sweet – that she thinks of me fondly enough to want to document Judah and me meeting each other for the first time . .. 

 

She gave me a beautiful gift just by letting me hold and love on her little newborn boy, but taking pictures of us interacting was an extra gift of love. I felt so special.

After Judah took in my face and voice, he nuzzled at my chest, smelling my breastmilk, and I let him know that though “yes, I smell like mama’s milk”

. . . that I was not his mama and I was going to hand him back.

 Holding and Healing

As I thanked her for letting me hold her little son, I reminded her of a time that she had allowed an elderly lady to hold one of her other children, her only girl.

The family was at church, and the old woman had asked if she could hold my friend’s newborn girl.

The old lady held her for a portion of the service, and then handed her back to her mother. When she handed her back, the old woman as crying.

My friend asked her if she was OK, and the old lady told her

“I recently lost a grand baby – I never got to hold that grand baby that we lost, and so it was so wonderful to hold your darling little girl. Thank you for allowing me to hold her.”

Small Gifts of Service

Melly healed something in that lady that day. She gave her a gift, and it helped the old lady endure the pain of losing a loved one. It’s a great example of our opportunity to give great gifts of service through small actions and words. It reminds me of:

  • the importance of listening to God’s call to service and
  • having an open heart and mind and of the significance of the littlest things in life.

Melly could have said “no” when the woman asked to hold her daughter. She could have been fearful that the baby would get sick from a stranger touching her. There are numerous reasons why someone would have said “no” in her situation. But she gave a gift to that woman by allowing her to hold her baby – and though it seems like such a small thing. . . it was very powerful.

The Little Things

Often in this busy world, we forget how powerful the little things are.

I could have declined to come visit Melly and her family this week because the drive was longer for me than I normally find “feasible”.

I could have postponed the visit because I had something else to do.

I could have left early instead of sitting with her and visiting until Judah woke up from his nap.

But instead, I stayed. And though holding Judah seems like a small thing, it reminded me of how wondrous our God is – how beautiful every little child – every person they grow into, including you and me – and every thing that we do . . . is important. I’m so glad I drove to visit her. I’m so glad I sat with her and listened to her thoughts and how things are going. I’m so glad I stayed to enjoy holding baby Judah.

So let’s not forget the impact of the little things in life.

Other Little Things

Brene’ Brown is thinking about the little things today as well. She is one of my favorite bloggers: a Ph.D., LMSW and research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, she has “spent the past decade studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame” and writes beautiful and uplifting posts on her Ordinary Courage blog.

Today, she writes about her annual tradition of buying a box of “the most delicious petit fours that you’ll ever taste” and delivering them to a local fire station on 9-11 with a simple message attached

We appreciate you!

What a lovely sentiment. Such a small thing . . . but I’m sure to the firefighters who receive the gift, it’s a boost to their day, and makes them feel special and loved.

It’s an important gesture – just like Melly’s allowance of the lady at her church to hold her child – or her loving picture-snapping today while I held her newest squishy-cheeked little addition.

The small things should not be overlooked. Because like Brene’ Brown writes in her post about the little things,

“In this big, loud, anxious world, the small things matter so much.”

 

 

 

Even With Legislation, Respect for Breastfeeding Mothers is a Luxury

It seems that even with legislation to support breastfeeding mothers and their right to nurse and pump in the workplace, it seems that respect for breastfeeding mothers and nursing children is still a luxury in our confused society.

While I have been lucky enough never to encounter any serious discrimination, many breastfeeding mothers do face discrimination and disrespect in the workplace – even when there is legislation to protect them from it!

Kristin Joseph’s Story

I was happy to see that Kristin Joseph, a recently victimized single working mother to a 6-month old nursling, took her story to the local news station in order to raise awareness about the discrimination and disrespect that mothers face in our confused society when it comes to breastfeeding and pumping breastmilk.

Joseph was working her shift at a restaurant when she was denied a safe, private, and sanitary place in which to pump her milk for her 6 month old baby boy. She also said that she was told that pumping was “disgusting” and she reported that her manager “went off” on her when she mentioned the California legislation that protects her right to pump milk during work in a sanitary safe and private location. Several news stations have picked up her story, including this great coverage on KTLA Channel 5 Los Angeles. News stories have been reporting the discrimination against Kristin all the way across the country, and I think it’s great that stations are raising awareness about this topic.

It is incredibly disheartening to read some of the comments on the news stories, however, cementing the fact that our society is generally ignorant about women’s bodies, rights, and breastfeeding. Especially disconcerting are the comments that claim Kristin is making up her story and those that quip about breastfeeding in a joking or disrespectful manner. It’s crazy to see the opinions and rage that’s out there directed toward nursing mothers.

Discrimination, Discouragement leads to Premature Weaning

This type of discrimination is NOT rare. When I worked as a WIC Breastfeeding Peer Counselor in Texas, I frequently heard complaints and concerns of working mothers about their need to pump at work not being respected. Many of our clients were discouraged and led to wean their babies prematurely from breastmilk in large part because of their being denied the ability to pump while at work.

If a mom is unable to pump consistently while away from her baby, this can lead to a decrease in supply which usually leads to supplementation and eventually, full weaning.

Weaning an infant prematurely from mother’s milk is not a decision that should be made lightly, and especially not because it has been heavily influenced by disrespect and/or lack of support in the workplace.

But what the lactation educator and R.N. interviewed in the news article stated is true: many moms are discouraged by the inability to pump at work and the lack of support for breastfeeding in society. This leads moms to wean their babies prematurely, when they may have wanted to give their babies the benefit of a longer nursing relationship.

Regardless of the way that you feel about breastfeeding, I think you’d agree that the decision to wean a child from mother’s milk should be determined by the mother and child, not by society at large. But regardless of legislation that attempts to protect nursing mothers’ rights. . . it seems that society is still making that decision for many moms in the US. 

I’m interested to follow Kristin Joseph’s story, as I did Michelle Hickman’s story in the Winter of 2011, and many other mom’s stories of breastfeeding discrimination and societal bullying of mothers.

How do you feel about discrimination against breastfeeding mothers in the workplace? 

 

 

 

A Response to Miriam Stoppard: Stop Perpetuating Untruths.

A few days ago, Miriam Stoppard wrote an awfully misleading piece on her opinion of when mothers should stop breastfeeding. Adele at Circus Queen wrote a wonderful, respectfully critical response to “Dr.” Stoppard’s brusque and scientifically incorrect opinion piece, and there are over 200 commenters on the piece itself, all disappointed in the Mirror’s gall in publishing such a ignorant and negligent “article”.

I was so appalled by the article, though, that I’d like to give my own critique, line by line, with references to support the scientifically and developmentally proven biological fact that breastfeeding is a multi-purpose instrument of mothering that deserves respect and celebration. Note that “Dr.” Stoppard gives no references to support her opinion on when a mother should stop breastfeeding, nor does she give any references to support her attack on attachment parenting, or even to substantiate her statements about iron insufficiency in breastmilk.

My issues with this article are not about mothers who wean their children before the natural age of weaning (which differs for every child). My issues with this article are not about women who formula feed their infants, for whatever reason. My issue with this article is the ignorance and hateful opinion perpetuated by publication in a popular online magazine, and the societal misunderstanding and mistreatment of breastfeeding that it feeds.

With no further ado, here is my response to Dr. Stoppard’s opinion piece on breastfeeding and when mothers should stop:

The Stoppard article text is in grey

My comments are in teal.

The footnotes in orange will lead you to reference material.

Dr. Stoppard Writes:

There’s no keener fan of ­breast-feeding than me. I always advocate breast milk as the perfect food for babies from birth to weaning.

“The minimum predicted age for a natural age of weaning in humans is 2.5 years, with a maximum of 7.0 years” 1

If Stoddard is a fan and advocate of breastfeeding “birth to weaning” then she should be familiar with Dr. Dettwyler’s work and the scientific findings that point to a biologically natural age of weaning between 2.5 and 7 years.

For years, we’ve followed the World Health Organization guideline that where possible babies should be breast-fed for six months.

The WHO actually supports breastfeeding for a MINIMUM of 6 months and additionally “for up to two years or MORE” 2

Recently, the Institute of Child Health put forward the case for mixed feeding from four months.

The Institute of Child Health recommends that “solids should NOT be introduced before 6 months (or before 26 weeks after [a baby] is born)” 3 I could not find an article on the Institute of Child Health webpage or on google in general that supports Dr. Stoddard’s claim that the ICH “put forward the case for mixed feeding from 4 months.” If anyone finds this information, please direct me to it!

Additionally, research has shown that delaying solids can give baby greater protection from illness, gives adequate time for a baby’s digestive system to mature, decreases the risk for food allergies, protects baby from iron-deficiency anemia, and helps protect baby from future obesity. For mothers, delayed solids can help space pregnancies naturally, and helps increase and maintain milk supply (which is a high-ranking reason why many moms stop breastfeeding before 6 months, or do not make their personal breastfeeding goals)4

I’m with them. Many mothers wean their babies around four months anyway and in the Third World it’s often an economic necessity.

I don’t even really know where to start with this line. She seems that she’s fine with women weaning their babies from breastmilk at four months, which is against every scientific and medical recommendation. Claiming to be a “breastfeeding advocate” dies for sure with this statement. 

Her statement about third world countries is an interesting one. You can explore the action that UNICEF is taking to support mothers, babies, and breastfeeding in third-world countries and see that the documentation does not list formula feeding, mixed-feeding, or early solids as an “economic necessity.” Dr. Stoppard is actually countering her own argument here, anyway, because she’s pointing out that women in the third-world stop breastfeeding because of MONEY not because they want to or should. 

Plus breast milk often doesn’t deliver the iron needed for a six-month baby.

Healthy, full term infants have enough iron in their bodies to last 6 months or more. “Healthy, full-term infants who are breastfed exclusively for periods of 6-9 months have been shown to maintain normal hemoglobin values and normal iron stores.” Preterm infants, those born with a low weight, or those born to a mother with badly or non-managed diabetes are at risk of having a lesser supply of iron, but breastfeeding itself does not cause iron-deficiency, and breast milk actually delivers iron more effectively (it is more readily bio-available to the infant’s digestive system) than iron in foods or formula.5

But if you’re a mum dedicated to ­breast-feeding, when should you stop?

I’ve spoken to breast-feeding consultants who say breast-feed for as long as possible, quoting the nourishment and protection of breast milk throughout toddlerhood.

For me, the line was crossed when I saw a cover of Time magazine showing a mother standing breast-feeding her four-year-old child who was standing on a chair to reach his mother’s nipple.

Oh, dear. The TIME article again. Let’s just all remember that the TIME cover photo was chosen by editors looking to sensationalize attachment parenting and breastfeeding children in order to make sales and, well, start the discussion and controversy that followed. Attachment Parents aren’t all that extreme. We simply choose to respect the needs of infants and children and not perpetuating our own desires by ignoring their developmental stages (i.e. sleeping through the night is a highly desired milestone for parents, but infants rarely ever sleep through the night because they are biologically designed to wake for breastfeeding, to meet their nutritional needs). The Atlantic has published an interesting article about the roots of AP. 

Not all breastfed children breastfeed standing like the boy on the cover of TIME. Actually, the cover photo was “an out-take” from the shoot, one that Jamie (the mother pictured) explains was a photo taken while moving between positions. 6TIME got a more natural breastfeeding photo of the same mother and child during the photo shoot, but elected not to use it. Most likely because the standing photo was the most interesting and most stirring. Which leads us to Stoppard’s next ridiculous point. 

This mother belongs to the school of extreme parenting where mums breast-feed into late childhood, let their child sleep with them and, as babies, carry them everywhere in a sling.

Actually, this “school of extreme parenting” doesn’t exist. Attachment Parenting is a philosophy of respectful and developmentally appropriate parenting that meets children’s biological and physiological needs for closeness, sustenance, nutrition, and emotional development. In attachment parenting and natural parenting, parents choose to form and nurture strong connections between themselves and their children 7

The mother on the Time cover believes in letting her child decide when breast-feeding should stop.

I’ve never heard anything so irresponsible.

Really? Because I have. Publishing an article based on opinion and untruths for all to see and be influenced by. . . that’s irresponsible. Not breastfeeding a child to the age of natural weaning. That’s actually a smart, thoughtful, natural and responsible decision (though it isn’t for everyone).

No young child should be asked to shoulder the burden of such a decision.

If you subscribe to that, which other decisions would you let your child make? To go to nursery or not? To get up in the morning or stay in bed? It’s clearly wrong.

Stoppard seems to think that attachment parenting is permissive parenting – which it’s not. Alternative Mama has a great post you can read about this subject 8 

This doesn’t bother advocates of extreme parenting.

They know that it would be an unusual child who would reject the breast their mother is offering them.

This is just a silly statement, because most mothers of breastfed children breastfeed on demand – at the request of the child, not at the whim of the mother.

No. This is about mothers who desire to keep their child dependent on them.

Again, false. Actually, scientists and pediatricians have discovered the opposite: “[after] studying the long-term effects of long-term breastfeeding, the most secure (…) and happy children are those who have not been weaned before their time” 9

A parent should be encouraging a child to be independent.

See the previous statement about the studies that show breastfeeding children to be incredibly independent and socially happy and secure. 

Extreme parents say it protects their child from “the pain of weaning”.

Far from it being upsetting, most babies offered a mixed diet are happy about it.

OK, now we are really starting to grasp at straws here. Like Adele wrote “My child likes cake. She’s happy about eating cake, but that doesn’t mean it’s good for her”.

Most babies offered coca cola are happy about it, too, but that doesn’t make it healthy or right. 

My guide is the appearance of teeth.

Nature arranges for them to erupt when a baby needs food that has to be chewed.

Yes, but the development of teeth doesn’t make it impossible for a child to nurse. . . and nursing actually soothes the pain of growing teeth AND assists in dental and jaw development. 

That should be when breast-feeding is gently suspended.

OK, so you think that when a baby gets teeth, a mom should wean her baby from the breast. Against all of the baby’s signals and nutritional, emotional, and biological needs. And if teeth were the magic variable in your equation of when mothers should stop breastfeeding, then why did you defend mixed feeding and attack the normal duration of breastfeeding?

Oh wait. . . I remember. Because we’re extreme parents that don’t care about the independence or well-being of our children. Right.

 

Seriously, by the end of Dr. Stoppard’s “article” . . . I was starting to think about how sad it was that she felt so compelled to write this piece to attack parents who nurture their children through attachment parenting and normal duration of breastfeeding. . . that I considered, for a second, not writing a reply, because I felt that replying to her would be unfair. I, a 25 year old mother, who hasn’t even earned her bachelors degree yet knows more off the top of my head about lactation, child development, and pure logic than a woman with a doctorate? Yikes.

And then I realized that that was exactly WHY I needed to write this.

It’s this type of inflammatory and ignorant writing that perpetuates the untruths and myths that stigmatize breastfeeding in our society. And for the future of our children, we have to keep re-educating to the scientifically and developmentally proven biological fact that breastfeeding is a multi-purpose instrument of mothering that deserves respect and celebration. . . and respectfully quieting and compassionately educating those who perpetuate and believe the false information and opinion out there.

How do you feel about the Stoppard article?

Are you an advocate for breastfeeding? How do you educate to the normalization of nursing?

  1. Dettwyler, Katherine, PhD. A Natural Age of Weaning. Prepared August 3, 1995. Edited February 10, 1997. http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detwean.html
  2. WHO Fact File on Breastfeeding. Accessed at http://www.who.int/features/factfiles/breastfeeding/en/ by clicking the “Read More About Breastfeeding” link.
  3. Institute of Child Health. Infant Feeding: First Stage Birth to 6 months. http://www.ucl.ac.uk/dph/IFPST%20PDF/Resources/Day%206%20-%20wave%204%20revised.pdf
  4. Bonyata, Kelly, BS, IBCLC. Delaying Solids. http://kellymom.com/nutrition/starting-solids/delay-solids/
  5. Bonyata, Kelly, BS, IBCLC. Is Iron-Supplementation Necessary? http://kellymom.com/nutrition/vitamins/iron/
  6. You Asked. They Answered. Time’s AP Moms take your questions. http://kellymom.com/blog-post/time-apmoms-interview/
  7. What is API all about? http://www.attachmentparenting.org/principles/principles.php/
  8. Attachment Parenting: What It’s Not. http://www.alternative-mama.com/attachment-parenting-what-its-not/
  9. Breastfeeding Beyond a Year. http://www.lalecheleague.org/nb/nbsepoct07p196.html