Linking Up today with Shell at Thinks I Can’t Say for her link up, Pour Your Heart Out
Today, I did WAY too much yelling. My throat hurts from so many repetitions of “Abbey, . . . ” *silence* “Abbey, . . .”
“Abbey, I need you to listen”
“Abbey!”
“ABBEY!!!!!!”
Abbey also thinks I’m pretty much the meanest mommy ever. Trying to keep her safe in a parking lot today, I accidentally pulled her hair (trying to grab the back of her coat) Trying to get her to agree to put her clothes on this morning, you would have thought that I was going to literally pass out from how frequently and frantically I was repeating commands.
Honestly, I’m kind of laughing at how miserably HARD I made it on myself (and Abbey) today by being stubborn and asking, then pleading, then demanding “Respect!” while not following my own advice and showing respect so Abbey could reflect it back.
But more than anything, I’m praying for LOVE to win out in my heart. I want to remember the LOVE that made her, and remember the LOVE that I have for her and treat her with only words of LOVE.
Knowing that when I do so, she reflects it right back to me, and to others. But when I’m stressed out, frustrated, nearing the end of my rope, she teeters and panics and gets all frazzled and weird just like I do . . . and the combination of both of us stubborn, passionate girls being a little crazy and anomic. . . yeah, not good!
I have to remember that she’s not pushing my buttons to hurt me, but to get my attention.
I have to remember that if I wait until she calms down, I’ll be able to hear what she needs.
I have to remember that behind every demand or critique or vehement exclamation, there is a NEED that she feels needs to be met.
and that with LOVE, I can help. I can help my sensitive preschooler. . . that used to be a sensitive little baby.
She STILL makes this EXACT face.
So, tonight, I’m praying for love to fill up my heart and flow out to my sweet, crazy, stubborn little girl, and then right back into me.
Please, God, allow me to open myself up to your abundant love, and to share that love and grace with my beautiful daughter when she needs it most.
AMEN!!!!!!!!!!
Love you, Jess
I really love this post. I find myself doing that on those days, and then I think, “I would never treat my husband/friend/coworkers, etc. this way.” So I do I do it to the little people I love most in the world? This morning, I came to the realization that I need to stop being so selfish. I tend to tell my kids to wait a lot. This morning, my son wanted more cereal, and I asked him to wait while I poured my coffee. Although I think it’s good for kids to learn that not everything is instant gratification, I think I need to learn the same thing and give more before I receive.
Gaby, THANK YOU for reading and commenting
It comforts me to know that I am not on an island, struggling with balancing my needs with my kiddos’ . . . This morning, I awoke with the mentality that I would use “only words of love” . . . and I’ve done pretty well (but Abbey has also been at preschool since 8:30).
I am more mindful today though – I think I just need a reminder every now and again to really be mindful of what I am showing my children (especially Abbey)
It’s so hard to remember this when I’m in the moment!
Oh yeah – so hard – hence, my writing this post! I am also praying for solace in my heart – to forgive myself for acting selfishly!
Thanks for the support, Shell!