Linking up today for Pour Your Heart Out with Shell at Things I Can’t Say.
I look around my crazy house.
I see clothes strewn on the floor.
I see a pile of trash & paper bits poured from the bottom of my diaper bag.
I look into the messy kitchen.
I see a stack of dishes.
I see a counter that needs to be wiped, and yogurt and lunch on the table.
I need to sweep. I need to mop. I need to transfer laundry.
I need to vacuum.
I need to wipe.
I need to fold
and iron
and sort.
But I want to cut out patterns
on my beautiful new fabrics.
I want to sit in the quiet
and sew
and get work done.
But I’ve got a toddler showing me needs -
baring his cute little teeth in anger when I say “naptime”
I give a choice and I rock and sing.
And when I’m kicked while comforting him,
I give the choice again.
Finally, I nurse him down to sleep. And I sneak out of the room.
And here I am, by the computer, pouring my heart out to you.
I lift my eyes up to the hills. Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD – the maker of heaven and earth.
I need to remember this. When Joe is baring teeth.
When I am kicked and scratched and pummelled
by a toddler with needs and a temper.
I need to remember this. When I look at my messy house.
When I think “when will I ever get out ahead -
- can I get ahead of the mess?”
I need to remember this. When I think of my baby girl.
She’s at preschool and still I’m having trouble
balancing everything here.
I need to remember this. When I look at my to-do list.
When I want to say “forget this mess! I am so ashamed of myself”
and weep that I’ll never get anything done.
I lift my eyes up to the hills. Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD – the maker of heaven and earth.
I will praise you in this storm. And I will lift my hands.
You are who You are, no matter where I am.
And every tear I’ve cried – You hold in Your hand.
You’ve never left my side. And though my heart is torn,
I will praise You in this storm.
